I started this blog, due to the fact that I have suddenly been put on bedrest while in my second pregnancy. My name is Lindsey, and I have a 3 year old, and am 32 weeks pregnant.
Let's start out with the facts:
*It took us 2 years to get pregnant this time.
*In that time, we had 1 miscarriage.
*We started looking into adoption, then found out in August we were finally pregnant!
*We had some bleeding early on, went and got an ultrasound thinking I was having another miscarriage, and that's where the chain of events began....
....first they thought I had a shortened cervix, luckily my doctor didn't take a chance and sent us to a specialist. He then discovered my cervical length was fine, but I had a scarred cervix. Most likely due to my first C-Section. I then had to have a 'cerclage' placed to prevent a miscarriage or early labor. (A process by the way that is neither fun or as easy as they make it sound) --I am now able to breathe knowing I will not miscarry this baby.
*I am warned to take it easy or I could go into early labor.
*At Christmas I overdo it and have some contractions.
*They tell me to take it easy, or it won't get better.
*Nope, I didn't listen.
*More contractions.
*Phone call to the nurse...stay on rest, with zero activity....HA! I have a 3 year old, as if!
*Trip to the doctors office...yep, full bed rest.
And that leads to where we are today. Lesson learned? Take what your doctor says seriously, and do NOT believe for one minute that it can't happen to you, because if there's anything I've learned in life today....it can.
Today is day...6? Yep, day 6 of bed rest. It started last Friday when I went to both my doctors. When my doctor here in Helena saw me my cervical length had shortened which was a sign of contractions. They put me on a machine to make sure I wasn't contracting while I was laying down. Luckily, I wasn't and was able to be put on bed rest at home rather than immediately admitted to the hospital for close observation. However, I will be going in every 2 weeks to make sure that is not where I am. Yes, I am listening to doctors orders NOW and not letting myself get to that point.
That same day I had to go to Great Falls to get an ultrasound done to check the cerclage. The doctor there also checked me and discovered that the baby is putting pressure on my cervix which means she is trying to drop down. Another reason to stay on bed rest.
We then went and spent the weekend at my in-laws so we could rest and get our thoughts cleared. Not only do I stay at home with our 3 year old, but I also work from home. Thankfully I have a job that I can still do from home, but now I am totally unable to take care of our 3 yr old. I am only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom or go take a bath. How do you explain this to a 3 year old who is already having a difficult time with the pregnancy?
Over the weekend and into Monday we spent time figuring out daycare situation for her. We found a lovely lady who stays at home with her girls and runs an in home daycare. She also homeschools her kids, is religious and makes home cooked meals. She texts me to give me updates on our daughter which helps me feel like I am still a part of her day.
Today was day "3" of her going to daycare. Now, please note, she has NEVER been in a daycare for more then a couple hours here and there. She has been with friends of mine and their kids, but never a real daycare. So this was a very difficult process for the both of us. We've spent the last 3 years together, now suddenly she has to be away from me all day every work day. Day 1 & 2 were pretty easy, since I was able to get her excited about the things she'd be doing. But this day, day 3 on the other-hand, has been the most difficult day of my life. Going through the pain of childbirth and having a cerclage placed holds nothing to this day. She finally realized what was happening on a daily basis, and had a complete meltdown. As did I. She was screaming my name, crying, saying how "she was going to be afraid"...I held strong as my husband was pulling her out the door, but once that door shut I was done. All morning spent crying and not understanding how to deal with this and the separation anxiety we both were experiencing. She yelled at her daddy to turn the car around. Could you imagine what he had to be feeling?? But luckily, once she got there and got settled, she was fine. I am so thankful our daycare provider is keeping me updated and helping me through this process!
Yep, that's basically why I started this blog. I know there are going to be good days, and there are going to be bad days. I always enjoyed channeling my energy towards writing in a journal, so this was my way of managing my emotions.
I am most likely going to be on bed rest for the next 6 1/2 weeks until our scheduled c-section. I've had people say "oh I wish someone would put ME on bed rest!" While I know at one point I felt the same, now I do not. You sit and stare at the things that are not being done, and you feel so insufficient. Imagine going day to day doing the simple things that make your life go smoothly, then suddenly those are taken away from you. You can't pick up your child, or play with them the way you used to. And when they are old enough to know something isn't right, you then get to deal with them acting out and being upset.
I'm not complaining, I'm just stating the facts and the true emotions of any mother on bed rest during pregnancy. You watch your husband work his tail off all day at work, then have to come home and work non-stop at home doing the simple things you should have been able to do yourself. Frustrating.
So follow along with me through this process, and into our move to DC after the baby comes. Yes, that's a different story for another blog day....
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